In the text healing wise there is an interesting story to demonstrate this point about a midwife who when thanked profusely for her assistance in birthing states, “I’m there to help her remember HER power; not to display mine. I am there to support HER to deliver the baby; I don’t deliver. …The more invisible I am- the more I can really help.” In my view, the statement of this midwife was a perfect expression of “Christness”.If you want to call it that…But I prefer to call it the awareness of a consciousness that it is indeed “at one” with all things and therefore, in assisting the “other” the midwife was only assisting herself. Isn’t God/Goddess- the one in the many and the all that is- invisible? I found her remark to be profound.

I believe that in the pursuit of seeking wellness and balance for our body, at some level we are also seeking the same for our inner state of being. All of us are wanting to feel “good” about ourself. When we do not feel good on the inside it is as much an obstacle for us as experiencing dis-ease on the outside; in the body itself.

Susun makes the statement in the text, “Flexible and common, claiming no healers, having no universities, no institutions, the Wise Woman tradition is hard to see. I feel it as an invisible thread humming with wholeness, ancient and vibrant, stitched through my life, stitched through the lives of all who went before and all who come after me. An invisible tenacious thread.”

This same approach could be applied also for inner awakening and spiritual growth as I see it. Indeed, we are all interconnected. In truth, spirit is an “invisibility” that permeates us all whether we acknowledge it or not. Some may be more attuned to this than others. This is ok. Regardless, we are all threads upon the web of life. Susun articulates some of the principles of the wise woman tradition- I use the term principles for lack of a better one. Although there seems to be some sort of “path”, it is a path one carves out as they walk it. In this way- there are no rules or “healers” or anointed ones- rather, all set themselves to the task before them in the spirit of the recognition of oneness over personal self…in the spirit of selfless service.

Susun states, “Nourishing is an invisible process. …Wise women nourish in invisible ways, helping others to empower themselves without saying, ‘Hey, look at me healing you. Look at me teaching you!’” This remark embodies the idea of at-one-ment in my view. Nourishing is not to be an arrangement where one seeks the gratification of self satisfaction. Rather, it is a mode of sharing- recycling so to speak the one power and energy we all carry within.

“Mothers are invisible…Virtually all health care given is provided by mothers who care for their families…But this is not measured nor paid for, and anyway, isn’t that what mothers do?” This remark makes me thing about the ceaseless giving of our own mother Earth. The spirit of the goddess constantly in action. Creating, sustaining and destroying for continued growth of all her children. As the earth gives without conditions- shouldn’t we too?

“A woman making dinner is invisible…To claim that she is engaged in healing her family and community and keeping her universe in balance is a lot to claim for dinner….” Well- this one really hit home. What about all the times I disdained at preparing yet another mundane evening meal when I would much rather be out DOING SOMETHING IMPORTANT. Who wants to rejoice at the prospect of more dirty dishes and screaming children at the dinner table. Yet, from personal growth and experience I can tell you that the implication of Susun’s remark is very accurate. The now moment is all that we have. While making a meal, doing laundry, or cleaning the toilet we have an opportunity to hold in our consciousness the awareness of peace, healing, love…Doing any task in this spirit indeed heals not only family and community- but sets forth a vibration that goes out to the entire universe. In this light, what more important job is there to do?

“Spoken words are invisible…The Wise Woman tradition flows from experience rather than faith in books; from creativity rather than dogma; from many unique individuals creating new ways to heal/whole…it is nonrepeatable, nonreplicable, ever changing.” There is a big difference between intellectual apprehension of a thing and the direct perception of its reality through experience. As a book hound, I well understand that although much food for thought can be gleaned from books and studies, none of it can become a dynamic expression of yourself until you own it as part of your own being consciously. This is a learning that comes from the heart, from being humble in the sense that one is teachable- listening for the best response in the situation one is presented with rather than being on automatic reaction to it. This kind of word is indeed invisible because it comes from within.

“There is no visible stucture in the wise woman tradition…There’s no president, no guru, no chairman of the board…You can’t get a degree or certificate…You can’t be tested on it, because there are no right or wrong answers.” In truth, this is so because life is a process of growing, learning, evolving. The Wise Woman tradition emphasizes the process we experience in the school of LIFE- as opposed to the level of status honored in conventional schools. This is not in any way to devalue universities, courses and other modes of education. It is to take it a step above the intellect and make learning not for the sake of collecting data, but for the sake of making it USEFUL in one’s life. And practicality only comes from application in any endeavor regardless.

The symbol of the wise woman tradition is the spiral. The spiral represents the beginning and ending of all things in a perpetually infinite universe. To some points of view there are beginnings and endings; but to the Wise Woman view there is only the process. It regenerates, takes away the old to make room for the new. Death becomes the doorway of life- and life becomes the experience of the soul that has for the present attained itself a body! The Wise Woman tradition encourages the experience of the void. Why? When the rest of the world “needs to know”, “have an identity”, “be something”. The answer is because in the void, in the nothingness is everything. All possiblity exists without limitation. We fear death mainly because it is a state of unknowing. We can’t control it. The Wise Woman tradition yields to the process of letting go rather than holding on. The whole cosmos is in constant expansion and motion and yet we all seem to think if we fight hard enough- work long enough- even attempt to reverse aging- we can somehow remain predictable and constant. We can be “stable” and find “security”. People need to think about that. I know I do. Most every day in fact. What is this all about? What exactly are we here for? If we can’t take anything with us but our own self - then what is the real priority? My body is also what I am- but what happens when I need to let it go?

I learned alot from these and other insights expressed by Susun. The most striking thing I think I discovered however is how similar our sense of physical well being relates to our inner being. We do not live an “either/or” existence. Instead, we experience both the visible and the invisible every day. For me, the Wise Woman tradition is less a school of thought than a way of being. Personal being that is. I feel that being more aware of my actual “being-ness” for myself; only opens the door to greater opportunities for growth and self discovery on all levels. With that I would like to end with some comments from Susun herself on this point, “Chaos, permeability, and nonsense are honoured in the Wise Woman tradition, not instead of, but in addition to honoring order, boundaries, and logic. Life and death co-exist; there is no pitched battle; there are no enemies in the Wise Woman tradition. The next time you have to make a choice between, try this: change the ‘or’ to ‘and’ and look at your decision from a place of inclusion. Let new vistas appear. Let the spiraling path of the Wise Woman tradition become more visible to you.”

I chose Susun’s work as a focus for this article because I find that contained within her holostic (which means wholeness by the way) approach, there are many, many deeper and inherently valuable meanings to her insights which- at least for me- have made an impact in a variety of ways.

I recall being at a particularly depressing moment not that long ago, and I casually opened opened the book “Healing Wise”. I have over 300 spiritual, holistic, entheogenic, and ancient and modern texts at my disposal by the way- so it was not as if THIS one would be the first choice for someone who was feeling as crappy as I was. I felt like a “spiritual failure” and completely cut off from everyone and everything. Yet, right on the page I opened there was smack dab in the middle a chart comparing the various “traditions” employed for health and wholeness, and a notation under one of them named “The Heroic Tradition” which said, “I’ll save you…” Hmmm….was I really looking for a savior? I felt so incapable at succeeding in my own efforts towards awareness and here is this one little phrase taunting me. Then right next to it I saw the phrase under the “Wise Woman Tradition”, “I’ll play with you in the sacred garden…I will love you unconditionally”. THAT was the answer. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Without judgment, measurement or reservation. I was loved unconditionally by the universe and yet I was busy beating myself up over my perceived “lack”, “failure”, “Badness”.

Often times attempting spiritual “enlightenment” we unconsciously measure ourselves by how much discipline we can withstand, how “perfect” we have been that day, how rigorous are our “renunciations”. Not to mention the humungous, magnanimous spiritual egos we create in the process which we eventually have to contend with. “Yes - yes- I have already walked that path- Ominous-Auminous- I will heal YOU.” Now I have run into that sort of persona a thousand times. And true- many do recieve a healing of some sort via this method and I don’t knock this type of thing. Yet- it wasn’t at all a help to me to be told, “You are healed because I have 22 years of kriya yoga behind me, am a vegetarian and surrendered my self to the cosmos.” I walked away feeling nothing. No change in depth. On the other hand, I have found real teachers to teach by their life. Their life is their message. Here’s one from Susun I found to be unique, “I do not want those who come to me to learn WHAT I learned, but HOW I learned so that they will know for themselves.”

In her text, “Healing Wise”, one of the very first chapters addresses the various traditions (in general terms) applied in our search for wholeness. I gleaned great spiritual wisdom from the information given. Susun wrote about 3 main traditions, that is, the three main lines of thought used by humanity on the whole toward greater health and wholeness. These are as follows- (and I paraphrase):

The Scientific Tradition: (Conventional physio-psychological approach) Walking the knife edge of keen itellect, analytical thoughts, measuring and repeating, then measuring again.
The motto of the scientific tradition is: “TRUST MY MACHINE”

The Heroic Tradition: (Alternative Medicine) The way of the savior, a path of rules, punishment and rewards, and purifications.
The motto of the heroic tradition is: “TRUST ME”

The Wise Woman Tradition: (Spontaneous Approach) The path that leaves no trace, integration and nourishment with a focus upon uniqueness of each individual who is addressed as such. The approach of wholeness.
The motto of the wise woman tradition is: “TRUST YOURSELF”

Looking at these approaches from a spiritual perspective I saw certain aspects of myself in ALL THREE of them. I had attitudes and ideas composed of all three. And in my own way, as screwy as it sounds, I saw clearly that what Susun was addressing from a health perspective was completely applicable from a spiritual view. Here is how it looked to me in that context:

The Scientific Tradition: “TRUST MY MACHINE”- Immediately the thought went through my mind that this is the equivalent of, “God doesn’t exist, just follow the system. You are SUPPOSED to run around searching for money and stability and honor and fame so GET TO IT and push everyone and everything out of your way!”

The Heroic Tradition: “TRUST ME”- This one produced the corresponding thought of, “Now just say ten hail mary’s and ten “our fathers” and know that Jesus will save you. DAMN IT! You are not subservient to the calling of Christ! You are a sinner- let me redeem you. Don’t speak- just let go and let GOD. Trust me….”

The Wise Woman Tradition: “TRUST YOURSELF”- Instantanseously the idea hit me, “KNOW THYSELF”.

I discovered that was innately repulsive to me about the scientific and heroic traditions was the quality behind them. A quality that exists in a subject and object relationship. “I am me and YOU are YOU and we are different and I am here to help YOU because YOU ARE IN A POSITION OF NEED.” The wise woman tradition on the other hand made no distinction between the healer, the healed and the healing. One is encouraged to help themself and work with their own being. In fact, the healer, healed and actual healing are all interconnected in the philosophy of TRUST YOURSELF.
to be continued…

You can lift weights or run to work your biceps and calves, but what about the forgotten muscles — the ones in the vaginal and perineal (the area extending from the anus to the vulva) region? What can woman do to strengthen these muscles and why would we want to?!

During pregnancy there is an increase in pressure on your bladder, which may lead to urinary and bowel incontinence. Toning the muscles surrounding this area through exercises known as Kegels may help alleviate this common side effect of pregnancy. Strengthening the vaginal and perineal muscles will also help with delivery, enabling you to isolate the muscles used to push your baby through the birth canal. Kegels are also something that can help after the birth of your baby - aiding the vagina in shrinking back down to pre-pregnancy size. Kegels therefore, are important for the pregnant and the post partum woman.

How can you isolate these muscles that you may have never known you had? Next time you urinate, stop the flow … those are the muscles. You want to use that same tightening motion as you strengthen the vaginal and perineal muscles. Start by squeezing and holding for five seconds and releasing for five seconds. Feel that?! Work your way up so that you are doing it often, as in 20 or more times a day, holding as long as possible each time.

Don’t be shy, you can do Kegel exercises anywhere - in your car at a stop light, during a board meeting or in bed at night as you read a book. No one will know! Kegels require no special machine or gear. They are one of the great ways to get your body physically ready for the birth of your child. So ladies, remember, Kegels, Kegels, Kegels!

This approach tries to combine the best of both worlds. It recognizes that a full-time job is not the most important thing in the world, but moms are also interested in things outside the home. So instead, you can combine various parts of a fulfilling life by having your children and spending time with them while you (and they) are young, then bringing them along during your ride through the career world.

Will everything go perfectly? Probably not. If motherhood means anything, it’s accepting a certain messiness. This philosophy also relies on enlightened men who want their wives to have it all too, and who are willing to indulge less in the cult of the career themselves to make that happen. Fortunately, the culture seems to be moving that way. One of my favorite Baby Blues cartoons shows husband Darryl MacPherson watching a 1950’s TV sitcom, wondering why it’s inherently funny that the father has to take care of the kids for a weekend while mom is out of town. What is he, incompetent?—MacPherson asks. I once interviewed a molecular biology student on a biotech research track who informed me she planned to have a fight with her husband over what they both saw as a privilege—“which one of us gets to stay home with the kids.”

HP’s research raised a million other questions—such as what companies can do to help valuable employees who happen to be moms. Probably a lot. It’s always amazed me how few corporations offer emergency day care for parents when something goes awry, even though the current solution—parents taking “sick days”—probably costs the company more.

But the most important idea to take away from HP’s book is that if you want both kids and a career, you can make it happen, as long as you don’t buy completely into either cult mentality. You may have to make adjustments on both fronts. One profile of Mark-Jusbasche, for instance, noted that she felt bad about missing some aspects of her boys’ growing up, and ultimately she scaled back her career to spend more time with them (just in time, it turned out, to miss the worst of the Enron mess).

But you can do both if you define your priorities, and find a way to make it happen. Said Hewlett herself on the Today show, “In the end, it’s in the hands, I think, of the individual woman.” And no individual woman’s life needs to be all one way or the other.

A Tale of Two Cults

The problem is that the mommy wars portray women’s life choices as conforming to one of two mutually exclusive, weighty ideas: the cult of the career and cult of domesticity. Combative rhetoric propagates the idea that once you’ve chosen the latter you are forever bound to it, and if you’ve chosen the former, you’re obligated to devote yourself slavishly to that cult through your younger years until you are completely established.

The career cult mentality leads to some odd prioritizing. Reading through the profiles of childless women in articles about Hewlett’s research, I was struck by the choices some women had made after being sucked in by the cult of the career. For instance, one woman billed herself as “director of marketing at a luxury hotel.” She could have had children in her thirties, but instead of making that happen, she devoted herself primarily to work, and once she reached her forties, realized having children might no longer be possible. The cult of the career misses a fundamental point: Work exists to pay the bills. It can also be challenging and interesting, but everyone’s primary goal should be a fulfilling life—not climbing the corporate hierarchy just because it’s there.

But we also make a mistake in billing domesticity as a cult you can never leave. Out of financial necessity, working class women have always found ways to combine the care of small children and work outside the home. So high-achieving, wealthier women can do the same—through freelancing, telecommuting, part-time work, and husbands who share equal childcare responsibilities. The cult of domesticity implies that once women have children, they lose all interests outside the home, except for cute ones like charity boards and bridge clubs. This is a demeaning picture that’s never been true.

Sequencing to a Complete Life

So how about the more modern notion of “sequencing”—women shifting back and forth between different stages of their lives? One sequencing support group, “Mothers & More” (which my sister- in-law participates in) defines this as moving in and out of paid employment and opting for a variety of flexible work arrangements in order to balance work and family. It could work like this: Go to school or work for a while (my sister-in-law has a Ph.D. in chemistry); raise kids for a while, perhaps while freelancing or consulting part-time to maintain outside interests; then incorporate work back into your life in a way that meets your own and your family’s needs.

to be continued…

But I had this woman’s story in mind as I read about the furor caused by the newest book from Sylvia Ann Hewlett, Creating a Life: Professional Women and the Quest for Children. Hewlett interviewed dozens of highly successful women of the post-feminist revolution “breakthrough generation.” She studied a thousand more who spent their twenties and thirties nurturing high-wattage careers. But then, she noted, these women faced a cruel reality: They had achieved everything else, but when they finally decided they were ready to have children, their bodies were no longer capable.

Predictably the controversy, like so much of the ongoing Mommy wars, split along ideological lines. The Right mustered a certain “I told you so,” attitude and called for a return to the traditional family—dads who work and moms who don’t. Richard Lowry of National Review, for instance, has been on a crusade in recent years, writing, “Working moms are at the very center of a variety of cultural ills. Maybe a little stigma is what they deserve.” Those on the Left have been equally apoplectic. “There is an antifeminist agenda that says we should go back to the 1950’s,” Caryl Rivers, a professor at Boston University, told Time magazine. “The subliminal message is ‘Don’t get too educated; don’t get too successful or too ambitious.’”

The numbers are depressing. According to Hewlett’s research, 49% of women earning over $100,000 a year are childless at age 40, meaning they will probably never have children. Any society where that high a percentage of the most intelligent, ambitious women don’t reproduce faces a troubled future.

But missing in all the hubbub are the tales of women such as Mark-Jusbasche. Over half of the high-achieving women Hewlett studied did indeed have it all—kids and a successful career. So despite dire warnings (including a headline in USA Today intoning: “Young women must choose”), the mommy-track and career-track don’t have to be at odds. The 51% of these $100,000 women who also have kids can serve as an inspiration for younger women who want to travel both roads.

to be continue…